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Unconquered Spirit’s
Cpl Erik Marcusson, Palmetto Battalion, C Company, 6th SC Volunteers Appomattox Court House, Appomattox, Va. |
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It was
finally over, I could not believe it. We formed up for the last time
along the road near a place called Appomattox. Our hearts
were
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heavy, we did not know what to say or think. All of us were in
tears, some collapsing on the ground and crying like children. I
looked down our line and what a pitiful sight it was. A once strong
battle line we had was now just a shadow of ragged, filthy, starving
and disorganized men. Only thirty men left in our regiment. Most of
them were lost after we left Richmond a few days prior. But those of
us left knew what we had done and accomplished for four long years
and we did not regret a single second. If you looked into our souls
that heart breaking day you will not see defeat, you will see an
unconquered spirit that is as strong as it ever was. Our colonel
spoke to us for a bit. He told us he thinks we could still do it and
that he would keep on fighting if asked. Then he and a couple other
officers came up to hug us and shake our hands. It is a sight I will
never forget. Grown men that had seen so much death and destruction
were now holding each other and crying almost uncontrollably. We knew
it was over. We thought about our friends and family that did not
live to see this day. I don’t see how any of us lived to see that
day. Some of them wished they never saw that day come. But I
survived, and I was determined to see it through to the end. And
somehow I did. Soon the dreaded words came. We were ordered to stack
arms and place our accoutrements on them for the last time. We did
so as our hearts were breaking. Our color bearer furled up what was
left of our tattered
banner and gently placed it on the stacks as if
it were a child. Our colonel then told us to get our parole papers
and go home. Some said they would not surrender and would hit the
woods to find Johnston’s army somewhere in North Carolina. I wished
them the best but I would have no part in it. As for me, the war was
over and I have done enough. I knew it was best for me to receive my
parole and go home, live the rest of my life in peace and try to
start over. Today I have lost touch with most of the ones I stood
with at Appomattox. I never fully knew what happened to all of them.
The ones that left to find Johnston’s army I’m told got there too
late because Johnston was also thinking of surrender. I think of the
ones we lost during the war and how much I miss them. So many
budding lives were cut short and never fulfilled. I shed a tear when
I see their faces in my mind. But they are now at rest, and we are
the ones left to suffer. One day when the long roll is called above
the clouds, we will meet again.